Just how I like to share my nerdiness.

Today I got someone to join wordpress! A good friend of mine, Jessica, claimed she knew nothing about blogs, and now here she sits next to me, typing away about “her feelings.”

I helped her get set up with an account which is always fun picking designs and colors, and all kinds of stuff.

Anyway, I believe she’s still typing her first post, but it’s always fun to have support. So if you see this, be sure to visit her blog, especially because she’s hilarious… 99% of the time.

 I like Flavored Water.

Other than sharing my nerdiness, not too much has happened in the past few days.

I never thought I was the typical girl to whine about boys, and think too much about them, etc. But I’ve been doing exactly that. Apparently it’s not something that only some girls do. ALL GIRLS ACT LIKE THIS… much to my chagrin.

I’m semi-preparing for a get together this weekend, and surprisingly, at this moment, I’m not nervous at all. I think it’s because I’ve kind of thrown myself in the back corner and stopped thinking about what others think of me, because usually when I do that, I get shit all over. So I’m trying this boy thing from a different angle, and seeing if it hales different results. (read: success)

In other news, I’ve been looking at a few websites that I find entirely hilarious, and I think everyone should at least look at them once.

The First one: Postcards From Yo Momma
This website is all emails, letters, and chat logs of mothers speaking to their children. It is uncanny how similar moms are to each other, and makes me feel just a little bit better knowing my mom isn’t the only kooky lady on the block.

Second: The Foggy Monocle
This website is another blog chocked full of hilarity. This site include funny qwips from the owners of the site, and what follows is sickening, silly, stupid, and probably another S word I can’t think of right now. It’s all chat logs between guy friends on the crazy antics they ensue when they go out the previous night, etc. Worth a peek for sure.

Well that’s all for now, but I feel a writing bug coming up so I am sure that I’ll be blogging some more in the upcoming days.

~S

So many maybes, so little time.

Doing laundry, waiting in my pajamas, have to vacuum and do the dishes.

Maybe I will look at some apartments and contemplate moving. Maybe I will also look for a job that pays better. Maybe I should move back home to save money. Maybe I should quit being a whiner and do something with myself. So many maybes! I’m no stranger to being impecunious, but I think this is a little insane to struggle so much, when I would be considered as one who makes a decent amount of money for a single person. It seems all my bills are far more than my paycheck, and so on, so forth.
But what can one person do, whose skills only stretch so far. I’m what you could call a Clerical Clarice (yeah, I made it up just now.) These are my skills and talents for the job market to admire: customer service, clerical duties, working on a computer, I know lots of computer programs that some might give up on when taking a first glance. I would pretty much make a great secretary. And I know I dug my own grave with these skills, because I could easily go back to school, get a degree, and a real job, but I just can’t bring myself to going back to school when I thought of it as such a nasty experience!

So there we have it! I don’t want to leave my current job, because it has security. As of right now, I know I’m not being fired, and I’m actually one of the “veterans” there, so why would I so easily give that up?

We’ll see how it goes!

Wednesday

Wednesday is the day that is usually the “hump” of the week. No pun intended. It usually happens that once you get past Wednesday the weekend is just around the corner and you can let your worries go away because you have all weekend to sleep them off. Unfortunately for me, this weekend is when I work, and that means long hours, little sleep, and high tension.

This past weekend I had off and had a good time. Saturday I went down to Baraboo for Picnic in the Park where I got to hang out with a very special person. It was great for me, and now I can look forward to next weekend where I get to see him again. I’ve been thinking, on and off, of things we can do… I’m still stuck on something to do after dinner…
After Saturday I went back home to my parents’ house and laid around ALL day and did nothing but sit outside on the screened in porch and laze in the warm breeze. It was really nice.

There’s one thing that’s been bothering me though. I know people feel all kinds of weird things when they like another person, but has anyone ever had their chest/arms go numb and feel like they’re on FIRE? It is, by far, the most bizarre feeling I’ve ever felt when I’ve had feelings for someone, and even just thinking about that person makes me feel like a paraplegic in a burning house. It’s amazing and a little scary at the same time.
I’m just hoping these strange feelings mean something good is happening.

In other news, I’ve recently taken up a healthy hobby, which I think my mom would be proud of. I’ve started working out and have been trying to watch what I eat. I use to work out religiously back in the day and it was great. All the benefits, etc. made the sweaty workouts always worth it. The hardest part of sticking with a workout routine is starting it, so hopefully after I get over the “beginning workout” hump, I can stick with a routine that works for me, and it will all come naturally. We’ll see how the weeks pan out, and hopefully I can sort of ‘update’ my progress as things move forward.  

I haven’t felt that feeling in my stomach in a long time!

Wednesday getting my hair did! Hopefully not too much shorter, but I’m just hoping I can manage it and make it look decent.

Saturday going to Picnic in the Park! Looking forward to it, and also excitednervous! Long story, will elaborate later!

I thought when I woke up that my power, everything, would be off. To my surprise it wasn’t! I called WPS and reluctantly paid half of my bill, and now have to come up with the other half in a week… Not going to happen, but oh well. I’ll try! I also want to look for a new place to live, but that won’t happen for a while. I just don’t have the money to shovel out for a security deposit, etc. Too much money to think about!

I was in a pleasant mood today, which is kind of surprising, seeing as I was at work all day. I think it was because I knew I had the day off tomorrow, and was getting my hair done, and was also going to get a couple of things. A.K.A. Clothes shopping! Unfortunately I can’t buy much, but you know… I try!

Anyway, today I found a fantastic website that made me giggle and actually laugh out loud ALL day.

GO HERE!  http://postcardsfromyomomma.com/

Turning the Clock Back

I thought I might jump back in history a little bit, to reflect on who I am now.

Just a measly four or so years ago, I went to this place called High School. I hated practically everything about high school except for the lunch hours and my friends. I don’t think anything I learned in High School was actually applied to real life, except for what I learned about people from my peers. During my junior year of high school is when high school hit the pinnacle of uselessness to me. I was just about to turn myself around and start really paying attention to school. Caring, doing my homework, and making an effort were all part of this whole revelation. Until something horrible happened. My grandma, my best friend, the loveliest woman in the world, passed away.  My family was told a few weeks before it happened that she only had a couple of weeks to live, and I think that’s what shattered everything for me.

I blamed myself so much, and to this day I still feel guilty for not visiting her more often before she died. I think I was afraid to see her in the state she was in. She was so lethargic and oblivious, it was hard for me to walk into the same room she was in. In school if I even heard something remotely close to the words grandma, or anything that might bring forth a small memory, I would burst in tears, and my day would be shot. And this was almost every day for about a month.
When that day came, and when she passed away, the news hit me, and I stopped going to school for a week or so. I wasn’t ready for people to come up to me and give me pity. I didn’t want to hear people say they were sorry to hear that she passed. I remember sitting on the porch with my mom one day, tears streaming down my face, and she said that I should let my friends be there for me, and for some reason I felt so betrayed, and didn’t want anything to do with them at that moment. How dare someone care for me at this time? Why would I want false pity. What were they supposed to do for me? Bring her back? That certainly wasn’t an option. I then went back up to my room and cried all day and night for the next few days.

When I did finally go back to school, something was missing. The fun I used to have, the things I used to do in my free time. All those things were void, and I didn’t really feel like doing them anymore. I think after that experience I had to grow up a little bit, and for some reason I didn’t think I could be carefree anymore.

After all that, school wasn’t the same to me, and the same applied for college. I went to college for almost two years, and I don’t think I was ever more depressed and self-depraved then I was then.

And here I am now. Working a dead end job, struggling to support myself and another, and yet… I still feel it was worth to leave college. Interesting how things end up, isn’t it?

Well I think I’ve done a pretty good job at scaring away the half a reader that I may have had.

Next time, on Oprah.

-S

Sometimes you just need to DO it.

I thought I might take the plunge and actually dive into wordpress.com. For some reason, my initial response when I first saw this blogging site was that I had to pay money to even be a member. And how wrong I was!

I really enjoy blogging, and a lot of times it cleanses my mind, and helps me escape from life, even if that’s what I’m writing about. Being able to type out loud and express my opinion without a bunch of people getting angry (even though people still do) helps me stay sane.
Because I work almost constantly, I would feel the need to blog about my job, but I know that that would not be a wise thing to do, so it will be a healthy challenge to try and find things to talk about other than work.

I guess I could start out with saying how I hate this weather very recently. For a few days it was beautiful and warm, and when the sun was out, the tickle of its breath was so refreshing after the cold, dark days that were winter… And then Thursday happened, and all of that loveliness when to shit. It is now dangerously windy (I can feel the draft coming through the walls at my apartment) and the rain/snow mixture makes me chilled to the bones. Even as I’m writing this, the temperature is a nice frosty 34 degrees, even though it feels like it’s about 25-ish. And the rain is steadily beating on my roof.

Today, in the shitty rain, I went to the library for the first time since I’ve lived here and got a library card, and checked out some books. I love reading, and for some strange reason, I didn’t go to the library when I got here to check out books. Maybe I didn’t have the time, but I’m going to bet that it was just because I “never got around to it.”

Anyway, I’m sure some changes are on their way. I’ve been letting my brother stay with me until he gets a job, and let me tell you: My paycheck can not and does not support two people, and that is what I’m attempting to do right now. Some good news came today, though, and I think he might have a job in the very near future. It all looks promising. Let’s just hope not too promising.

As for right now, I’m going to curl up on my bed and look at the ceiling for a while.

-S